


Unlikely Endings

by lifelive94



Series: Unexpected Love [1]
Category: Twilight Series - All Media Types, Twilight Series - Stephenie Meyer
Genre: Angst, Eventual Fluff, F/M, Human Bella, Romance, Slow Burn, Strong Female Characters, Vampires, always angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-18
Updated: 2016-02-17
Packaged: 2018-05-07 08:09:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 19,934
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5449478
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lifelive94/pseuds/lifelive94
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After Jasper attacks Bella at her birthday party, she knows it's the end for her and Edward. What will she do? What will Jasper do? Will he stay with her, or will he desert her like Edward did? Slow burn, but definitely Bella/Jasper.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

"Jasper," I breathe. "Jasper."

Pain. Indescribable, undeniable pain flows through my veins like molten lava. The heat sets my blood on fire, similar to what I assume the transition feels like. 

I'm _not_ transitioning. However, I have stopped breathing; I have become a cold, lifeless sculpture. I am dead inside. 

With outstretched arms I plead for something I can never have. What I desire is beyond my reach. I have spent the past year reaching for the stars. I got a glimpse of something _more_ , and I greedily took what was given to me. Edward's kisses, his touch, his love...I devoured all of it like an alcoholic does their last drink. 

"You didn't hurt me," I whisper. 

His back is tense, and he's impossibly still. There's no warning when he flashes in front of me, his cold golden eyes looking through me, seeing past me like I'm not even worth acknowledging. "You shouldn't be out here," he informs me.

"I wanted to make sure you weren't blaming yourself for what happened," I say shyly, unaccustomed to being so close to someone like him - mysterious in a dark way and obviously deadly. _He's so unlike Edward_ , I muse. 

"And who else is to blame, sweet human?" he asks, the words flowing from his lips like warm honey.

The term of endearment throws me off. He's never addressed me as anything but plain, simple Bella. Feeling like a skittish horse, I focus my gaze on his throat. I admire it's smooth paleness in the glow of the moon.  "I am," I reply matter-of-factly. 

He chuckles, the sound deep and rich, and it carries in the night air, flowing over me like a gentle wave. He has this way about him- like a tamed lion observing its prey, but never going for the kill. Yet, despite its agreeable manner, you always know what it's capable of. "Silly human," he murmurs, his glittering eyes shining with obvious amusement. 

A spark of anger flares to life in my chest. His dismissal of my declaration annoys me. He thinks me a child, and in some ways he would be right, but I'm not naive or stupid. I know he blames himself for something he can't always control. I know he hates what he is. I know he hates the eternal struggle of maintaining control, but he _keeps_ struggling because he knows it's the right thing to do. 

"I saw Edward's face when you attacked me," I say out of the blue. The sooner I get this over with, the sooner I can get to work repairing the gaping hole in my chest where my heart used to reside. 

His face becomes cold, distant. Inhaling the crisp air, I continue with what needs to be said. "He's going to leave me. I know that look. It's the same one he gave me after James bit me."

Jasper looks down at me, his expression unreadable. I do catch a single emotion in his eyes before it disappears- pity. I don't need his pity, I don't want it. I hate it even. "Don't blame yourself," I tell him. "Edward was never going to stay with me forever." I hug my torso, trying to ward off the cold moving through me, freezing me from the inside.

Smiling unhappily, I say without judgment, "You just sped things up a bit. You probably did me a favor. It's better not to get too attached, right?"

Throughout my entire speech, he does nothing but stare at me. He doesn't let me see what he's feeling, but I expected that. Jasper is not the open sort. I'll leave in a few seconds and he probably won't have said a word. 

Finally, Jasper moves. His hand strikes out to caress my cheek. "You're resigned to Edward abandoning you then?" he asks.

Unnerved by his touch, so foreign but not unwanted, I nod distractedly. "I knew he wouldn't want me forever," I admit, shame staining my face a harsh red. 

He frowns at that, his dark brows pulled low on his marble face. "Edward wants you more than he wants blood. He proves it everyday."

The moment feels too intimate, so I step out of his immediate reach. "I would prefer he proved his love by staying," I retort angrily. 

He tosses a sad grin my way before turning halfway to face the house. "He's afraid," Jasper says. "I feel his fear like it's my own. Fear causes people to do unwise things."

If I can trust a roomful of vampires and not be afraid, surely Edward can find the courage to be _with_ me. I say nothing though; I just stare up at the starlit sky, thinking about what my life is going to be like after tonight.

I feel the tears clogging my throat, but I swallow them down. "Tell them goodbye for me," I request softly. 

Determined, I take those first few horrible steps down the driveway, prepared to let go of the people I've come to care very much for. It's better to stay strong. If I don't keep it together, I'll break apart, and no one will ever be able to put me back together again. 

"Bella," Jasper's voice reaches me. 

Looking at him over my shoulder, I wait to see what he has to say. My eyes have become accustomed to the dark so I can see his handsome face twisted in what looks like regret. "I'm sorry," he says. "I'm sorry for everything. I never wanted to hurt you. I _would_ never hurt you."

"It's okay," I reassure him. 

I leave then. I make my way back home, following the wet pavement all the way to Charlie's door. When I step into the house, I look and find Charlie on the couch, watching a football game. He says 'hi' and he smiles at me, the game taking up most of his attention. He misses my stricken face, my trembling hands, and I'm thankful because I'm not in any condition to go about explaining what happened at the Cullens. I doubt I'll ever be ready. 

My room is exactly the same as it was this morning. There's no sign of Edward ever having been here, which is a good thing right now. I hardly need a reminder of what I've just lost. 

Falling to bed, I bury my head in my pillow. My cries are muffled as they tear through me. I promise myself I'm only going to cry tonight; tomorrow I'm going to put on a brave face and pretend like my life hasn't come to an end. 


	2. Chapter 2

"Where's Edward this morning?" Charlie asks, slurping down a bowl of cereal.

Stunned, I pause by the sink. My hands clutch the countertop so hard my knuckles turn white. _He's gone,_ I want to cry. _He's not coming back._

"He's busy," I lie.

Grunting, he finishes off his bowl, and goes to the door. He flips his keys into the air, catching them neatly in his hand. "Be careful driving to school, Bells," he cautions, slipping out into the brisk morning air.

I don't want to go to school. People are going to ask questions. There will be curious stares, and I don't want to deal with it. I don't want to face those halls without Edward. I don't want to eat lunch without listening to Alice's constant chatter.

Like a criminal facing a hanging, I grab my keys and my book bag. I make it to my truck, get in, and turn on the radio to hard rock. I would usually listen to something classical, but then I would be reminded of Edward.

I glued the pieces of my heart back together last night, but the closer I get to the high school, the more I feel those pieces starting to break all over again.

I'm not ready for this.

Limbs shaking, I exit the cab of my truck, glance around for Edward's usual parking space- it's empty. Inhaling through my nose, I stare at the spot. I stare for minutes, for hours, for _days_. "He's really gone," I tell myself.

"Talking to yourself, Bella?"

Whipping around, I come face to face with Jasper. He's here. His liquid gold eyes are watching me closely, seeming to take in my every movement. He's here. _He's here_. Why? He should be where Edward and the rest of his family are. Does that mean...?

"Is he...?"

Sympathy clouds his normally clear eyes. "They're gone," he says.

My last hope pops like a balloon. Dragging my book bag further up my shoulder, I attempt a smile. "Of course they are."

He stays silent, and I begin to wonder what _he's_ doing here if none of the other Cullens are still in the area. Does he feel as if he owes me for cutting my time with Edward short? I told him last night I didn't blame him. Edward can make his own choices, and it would seem as if he has. It just wasn't the one I wanted him to make.

"Why are you here?" I ask, walking towards the school.

He keeps pace with me. "I'm not overly fond of Alaska."

They went to Alaska? Edward felt he had to go so far? Hurt, I say nothing else on the subject. Some truths are just too honest.

The looks I receive by my peers are curious, but I assume Jasper's presence by my side is what they're most curious about. It used to always be Edward who would walk with me down the halls.

"What class do you have?" Jasper asks me casually.

"Biology," I say mechanically, my mind on other things.

"Me too."

Coming to a sudden halt, I look up at this strange vampire. I haven't asked him anything. I should be asking why he's really here, and why he's not with Alice, or why Alice isn't with him. "You're a year ahead," I tell him as if he isn't aware. "You're taking Chemistry."

"Not anymore," is his vague reply.

"Jasper-"

"We're going to be late," he says, tugging me gently along by my elbow.

What's going on? Too confused for words, I allow myself to be dragged to class, following him willingly despite my lack of information.

Mike has already taken a seat in the back, Jessica right in front of him. I'm assuming it's a strategic move on her part. Both of their gazes are focused on me and the blonde boy beside me, who is currently looking for two available seats.

"Bella!" Mike calls out energetically. I spare him a look, and as my eyes start to focus back on Jasper, I witness Jessica's jealous glare aimed at me before she gives me a fake smile.

"Bella."

Jasper's melodic voice demands my attention. Turning from Jessica, I see he's found us two seats in the middle of the room. My usual seat up front has been taken by someone else. Swallowing the lump in my throat, I bravely sit down in the seat Jasper motions for me to sit in.

The teacher's up front, writing on the blackboard, when Jasper leans into me. "You are sad," he whispers. "You miss him."

Not looking up from my notes, I say, "It doesn't matter. He's gone."

"I do not believe you. Remember I can feel everything you feel," he reminds me.

Clenching my pen tighter, I paste a brittle smile on my face. "I'm fine."

"You are not behaving the way I thought you would," he says, looking thoughtful.

"He left me." What else is there to say? How exactly am I supposed to act? He didn't even say goodbye. He told me he loved me, and I fell for it. I actually believed I had a chance with a supernatural being. It's laughable really. What a pretty little bubble I've been living in.

"You are stronger than I've given you credit for," he murmurs.

"Don't let the human exterior fool you," I tease half-heartedly.

Our conversation lulls while I write down important information for an upcoming test."You will move on from Edward. Time will heal the pain," he states authoritatively.

His tone surprises me. "I'm not going to pine for someone who doesn't want me," is my answer.

A strange look crosses his face before he puts up his shields. It's as if he has a vested interest in my well-being. He's behaving like my answers matter to him.

"Alice isn't with you, is she?" I ask him.

"She's not," he replies indifferently.

"Why would you let her leave without you?"

He smiles mysteriously. "Alice makes her own decisions, and I make mine."

That's hardly an answer, not a very satisfactory one at least. Surely, Alice would want her mate with her, and I can only imagine Jasper would feel the same. "If you stayed because you think you owe me something, then you should go," I blurt out suddenly. "I don't need you to babysit me."

Smiling wider, he doodles in the margins of my notebook. "Sweet human," he whispers, almost seductively. "I have no plans to babysit you. And I realize you would prefer I didn't blame myself for the...incident last night, and I'll try not to."

"I don't understand why you decided to stay then," I say, frustrated.

"Must you understand everything?"

"Must you always be so vague?" I retort.

"Such a fiery spirit you possess."

Annoyed, I ignore him in favor of paying attention to the teacher. It's clear Jasper doesn't plan on telling me anything, so why continue talking to him? I'll only end up more frustrated than I am now.

After class, I grab my books. I throw everything haphazardly into my bag, wanting to get away as soon as possible.

"What's the rush?" Jasper questions, a knowing gleam in his eyes.

"No rush," I say. "Just need to get to my next class."

"British literature, yes?"

Pausing, I hide my face from his probing stare with my hair. "Yeah."

"That's where I'm going myself," he informs me.

"You changed all of your classes," I say quietly, still not looking at him.

He hums in agreement, the sound jarring my body into action. I'm out the door as fast as my human feet can move, trying to outrun the vampire. Funny.

"You needn't be afraid," he says, half running to keep up with me, but not breaking a sweat.

"I'm not afraid."

"Then why are you running from me?"

Skidding to a stop, I round on him. "I don't want you here. You remind me of things I've lost, and it hurts and I'm tired of hurting."

I didn't know I felt this way until I said it out loud. Now that it's out there, I know it's the truth. I want no reminders of Edward, and Jasper is a huge reminder with his perfect face and his alluring voice.

"I cannot leave, Bella," he says gently.

"And why not?"

"Let's just say there's something here worth staying for."


	3. Chapter 3

Jasper goes with me to every class; he sits beside me for each one, though he stays silent till lunch.

"What are you in the mood for?" he asks me, picking up a tray, his eyes scanning the food with distaste.

I've entered the twilight zone. "I can get my own food, Jasper," I tell him, trying to take the tray out of his hand without success.

"You don't eat enough," he says, holding on to the tray easily despite my efforts.

"I eat plenty," I argue.

He smirks at that. "Hardly." He hands over the tray anyway, and I snatch it away from him.

Sighing in exasperation, I make my way to the end of the line, Jasper right beside me. "I said I can get my own food."

He puts his hand on my back to urge me along when I don't notice the line has moved - I was too busy giving him my best death glare.

I get a piece of pizza and an apple, and when I look away to grab a soda, I look back to find I have two pieces of pizza and another apple. I roll my eyes, but say nothing about my extra portions.

We sit at my usual table and I hardly have time to think about it before Jasper starts asking me questions. "You like books, don't you?"

"Yeah," I say, taking a bite out of my apple.

"I just finished Frankenstein," he says, pausing for dramatic effect, "for the 100th time."

My eyebrows lift of their own accord. "Impressive."

"It's my favorite," he says, shrugging.

"Because it makes you think about who the true monster is," I say automatically.

A pleased grin brightens his face. "Exactly."

"I've read it several times, but my favorite is Jane Eyre."

He nods. "I enjoyed that novel."

"You've read it?" I'm surprised he would read something so blatantly romantic.

"I have a lot of time on my hands." He smiles a real smile. The kind that reaches his eyes.

"You're not acting like yourself," I say, half curious, half suspicious.

Head cocked, he observes me from across the table. "And how should I be acting?"

"Stiff, formal, and stand-offish," I reply instantly.

"Would you prefer I was stiff, formal, and stand-offish?" he asks.

It's what I expect and what I'm used to. It would make whatever this is more normal, and yet... "No."

His white, pointy teeth gleam at me. "Good because I'm rather tired of being those things."

He's not making any sense. Nothing about today makes sense...

"You're sad again," he murmurs. His fingers tap against the table, restless.

"Must you constantly read me?" I demand, my voice a tad angry.

Edward could never read my mind, and I liked having the privacy of my own thoughts and feelings, but Jasper can read my emotions, stripping me of that privacy. It's annoying and a little embarrassing.

"I could fade you out and focus on someone else in the room," he says truthfully. "Though I would much prefer to know what you're feeling rather than any of these other imbeciles."

I can understand that. He knows me. I wouldn't describe us as friends, but we're more than acquaintances. He's more used to having me around, and I guess he's learned to tolerate my silly human emotions. I shouldn't be selfish. "Yes, I'm sad," I admit in a huff.

"There's no shame in being sad, Bella."

When I don't bother to reply because I become lost in my own world of pain and misery, he pushes my plate closer to me. "Eat. It will make you feel better. Or so I've heard."

Startled, I can't contain the laugh that bubbles out of me. A vampire who has barely talked to me since I've known him, is trying to take care of me. "I don't have ice cream," I say without thinking.

His smooth forehead wrinkles in confusion. "Ice cream?"

"It's what girls eat when they're sad, or upset about something," I explain.

Expression clearing, his mouth curls into a tiny smile. "I could easily find some ice cream before lunch period ends."

I don't know what to do with him. He's volunteering to get me ice cream? He's absolutely serious too. "I'm okay," I assure him when he makes to stand up.

"Humans are so fickle," he says, seeming to be talking more to himself than me.

Amused, I take a bite of my pizza, hoping to appease him. "You mentioned there being something here worth staying for." I hadn't asked earlier, but I'm curious now; I'd like to know what would make him stay in Forks.

"Yes, I did," he replies carefully.

"Well?"

"Yes?"

Slightly frustrated, I ask, "Aren't you going to tell me what it is that's keeping you here?"

He mumbles something under his breath. He stares intensely at the table. "I will."

"But not now?"

"Not now."

The bell rings then, signaling lunch period to be over. I get up, watch Jasper throw what I haven't eaten away, and we head to our next class. Just like that.

* * *

The thing is a monstrous piece of machinery. "You ride a motorcycle."

"That I do," he acknowledges. He hands over a red helmet. "And now so do you."

I ignore the helmet, settling on slapping a hand on my waist instead. "I have a perfectly functional truck, thanks."

Scoffing, he waves the helmet at me. "Come on, Bella. Live a little. I promise to come back for your truck later."

"We could always drive _my_ car and come back for your bike later," I say, smiling.

Raising a skeptical brow, he shakes his head. "I'd like to get home today, if you don't mind."

"My truck is not that slow!" I protest.

He gives me a look that says he disagrees. "Come on," he encourages softly. His voice is hypnotic, and the next thing I know, I'm wearing the helmet.

"Not fair," I mutter under my breath.

"Playing fair is extremely overrated."

"Well, this human would like it if you at least tried," I reply.

"Message received," he says in a mocking tone.

On the way home, I let the air wash over me. I let it soak into my pores and wash away everything that has gotten me down. I hold on tightly to Jasper, hoping against hope that with time I'm going to be okay. I might be going through the motions, but my heart is somewhere in Alaska - with Edward. I miss him. I miss him so much I ache.

I have Jasper for now though. I said earlier I didn't want to see him, and mostly that's true, but he's been a decent distraction today. I think it would have been more difficult without him. His snark and sarcasm makes me laugh, and I like it. Even with Edward, I hardly ever laughed. Funny that I've never noticed until now...

"Charlie's home," Jasper yells over his shoulder.

He's not even looking at the road anymore. He's focused on me, which is distracting and more than a little nerve-wracking considering we could crash. Except we won't because he's a vampire.

"Drop me off a block from the house," I say in a normal tone of voice. He'd be able hear me even if I had whispered it.

Nodding reluctantly, he turns around, slowing the bike to a more reasonable speed. The Cullens go fast. They certainly don't drive at a snail's pace. "Jasper, what are you doing?"

"Taking you home," he replies causally.

"You're going so slow," I point out the obvious since he doesn't seem to have realized.

"It's the speed limit."

"You never go the speed limit."

"I'm turning over a new leaf," he says. "Starting with following the speed limit."

Baffled, I say, "You're crazy."

I feel more than hear his chuckle. "Why thank you, ma'am." His country drawl makes an appearance, surprising me further. His Texas twang is pleasant, and I wonder why he hides it.

"Can I visit you tonight?" he asks when he stops the motorcycle a block from my house.

"Charlie-"

"Won't know I'm there," he finishes.

He wants to climb in through my window. Like Edward used to. Why? Is he lonely? He's here for a reason, a reason he won't share, but maybe he misses his family and Alice. If so he might be looking for a friend. I could use a friend. We could help each other. He could help me miss Edward less, and I could help him be less lonely. A win-win really.

"Okay then."

* * *

"No Edward again?" Charlie asks from his place at the table.

He's heard. His stare is wary - most likely because the last time Edward and I "broke up" I ended up in the hospital. Lucky for him I have no plans to run away.

"Him and his family moved to Alaska. Mr. Cullen got a job offer there that he just couldn't refuse," I say, the lie coming easier than it should have.

"You okay, Bells?" The wary look hasn't left his eyes, but he also looks worried for me.

I summon a smile. "I'm fine, dad. It was a shock, but I'm okay."

When he doesn't act as if he believes me, I say, "He was just a boy. They'll be plenty more." To make my words seem more believable I widen my smile and laugh.

"Okay. If you're sure."

I nod decisively. "I'm sure. Now what would you like for dinner? We've got loads of fish."

"Fish will be fine. I'm going to have to go on another fishing trip soon," he says, grinning.

"I guess one can never have too much fish," I tease.

I get through dinner. I laugh and smile throughout the meal. I clean up and find things to talk about with Charlie. The longer I pretend, the easier it gets. The ache subsides, making it possible for me to put on the role of happy daughter.

It isn't until I get to my room that my chest begins to hurt, and my vision starts to blur. And I open my door to find Jasper laying comfortably on my bed as if he owns it.


	4. Chapter 4

"You've made yourself at home I see," I comment wryly.

"Your bed is quite comfortable," he replies.

"I'm glad you approve." Feeling self conscious, I pick out a pair of sweats from my dresser. "I'll be back," I say.

In the bathroom, I look into the mirror. I look tired, worn out. No wonder Edward didn't want me. I could never compare to Rosalie or Alice. My eyes are too dull, and my figure is practically non-existent. I'm so far beneath Edward, it's laughable.

_I've got to stop thinking about him._

Sighing, I go through my nightly ritual, barely able to get through brushing my teeth because my eyes keep falling shut. Not getting any sleep last night has finally caught up with me. I practically stumble into my room, closs the door, and climb under the covers. Snuggling into the mattress, I look up at Jasper. His eyes are darker than they should be.

"Should you hunt?" I ask.

He leans back against my headboard. Folding his hands on his lap, he grins sharply at me. "Worried I'm going to take a bite out of you in your sleep?"

Half asleep, I shake my head. "I'm not afraid of you."

Sleep is laying it's sweet claim on me, but I think I hear him whisper, "I'm glad, sweet Bella." I can't be for sure though because I'm quickly sinking into the darkness, happy to be free of my mind for a few hours.

* * *

Rain. I wake up to rain. I hear it pelting against the roof. The gentle tap, tap, tapping almost lulls me back to sleep. Almost.

My eyes flutter open, and an involuntary gasp escapes my mouth. Not two inches away is Jasper. Lying down, he's turned his body to face me, and he's been watching me. _His eyes are turning black._ "You're thirsty," I say, my voice rough from sleep.

"I'm fine," he replies quietly.

Stifling a yawn, I force myself to sit up. "You stayed all night," I say unnecessarily.

Mimicking my position, he asks, "Should I not have?"

"No, I just can't imagine watching me sleep for eight hours is very entertaining."

"You're cute when you sleep," he says softly, some unidentifiable emotion sparking to life in his gaze.

I snort, and stumble out of bed, hissing when my bare feet hit the cold floor. Instantly, Jasper has me wrapped up in a blanket with me in his arms, bridal style. "Oh," I say, stunned.

"You were cold, were you not?" he asks.

Trying to recall the English language, I nod dumbly. "Where were you planning to go?" he questions, his eyebrows raised expectantly.

"The bathroom."

He carries me to my destination, gently sitting me on the edge of the bathtub. "You didn't have to do that," I mumble, embarrassed.

"It was my pleasure," he replies formally.

A tad confused and unsure, I stare up at him, wondering what I should say to that. Finally, I come up with "Thank you?"

He walks backwards out of the room, laughing. "I'll wait for you downstairs." Seeing my worried expression, he adds, "Charlie left for work an hour ago."

I think I sit motionless for at least five minutes, trying to figure out if I'm still asleep. Never in a million years did I think Jasper would ever be so open and kind with _me_. He's nothing like the old Jasper, but then again I hardly knew the old Jasper. Maybe he's this way with the people he trusts. I don't know what I did to earn his trust, but I'm not going to ruin it by bugging him about it. If he finds something in me worthy of his attention, then I suppose I'll accept the gift of his friendship graciously.

* * *

"I'm starved," I say, stepping into the kitchen. I feel better after getting ready. I've decided to go with the flow, and try to take my mind off of Edward. Hopefully, I will be successful.

"I got takeout," he says, pushing a Styrofoam food box across the table.

Curious, I look to find blueberry pancakes inside. "This is my favorite breakfast food," I tell him, smiling.

He returns my smile. "I know."

"How could you possibly-"

"I remember you mentioning it awhile ago. I'm glad you're hungry," he says, changing the subject smoothly.

"I didn't eat much yesterday," I admit.

Giving me a look, he says, "I know."

I roll my eyes. "What are your plans for today?" I ask him.

" _We're_ going to go into the city."

"What's in the city?"

"I thought it would be nice to go visit some bookstores," he says. If I thought it was possible, I would say he looked nervous, which is silly. He clears his throat, and shifts in his chair. "Would you like that?"

"I'd love that," I say enthusiastically. "It's been too long since I've gone shopping for books."

"We can take you're truck, if you prefer."

"You hate my truck," I say, laughing.

"Hate is a strong word. I dislike your truck, but you like it and...friendship is all about compromise, correct?"

I smother a smile at his sudden earnestness. It's as if he's never had a friend before. "Yes, I've heard that," I tease, daring to reach out and grab his hand.

He automatically tenses up. Panicked, I let it go like it's on fire. "I'm sorry," I say in a rush. "It was stupid to touch you when you haven't fed in awhile. I'm sorry."

What was I thinking? I forgot that he doesn't like to be touched, and to add insult to injury I forgot that he hasn't fed in at least two days, which is a long time for him. I'm basically begging him to suck me dry.

"Bella," he says, his face losing that shell-shocked look, "it's okay. You didn't do anything wrong."

"I won't do it again," I promise.

"I wasn't expecting you to touch me. It surprised me, yes, but that's all. Feel free to initiate physical contact whenever you want," he reassures me.

Slightly embarrassed, my gaze falls to the floor. It's going to take me some time, getting used to being friends with him. He's not like Alice or Emmet, and my relationship with Edward was strictly romantic. I never thought of him as my friend exactly.

Taking a deep breathe, I let go of my discomfort. "Okay," I tell him. "Are you ready to go now?"

Seemingly relieved, he extends his arm to the back door. "After you."

* * *

"That was great," I say.

Three hours of book hunting, and I feel like I bought out every store Jasper took me to. He bought quite a bit himself, but he insisted on buying me everything. If I spent more than a second looking at a cover, he'd throw it in the pile. It was amusing, if not a little disconcerting. I'm certainly not used to being spoiled like this, and I should have refused. I would _normally_ refuse, but I didn't.

He smirks at me from the passenger's seat. "I had a lot of fun too. I hope you got what you wanted."

"I'll pay you back," I tell him, realizing I might have taken advantage of him.

Glaring at me, he says, "You will not. The books were a gift, Bella. You deserve to have things you like."

"Thank you, Jasper." Slowly, I move my right hand from the wheel to squeeze his arm. "I'm glad you stayed."

He stares at my hand for a long time. I don't move it, I just let it lay there for him to either accept or reject. He said earlier I could do this, and it wouldn't bother him. I hope he had been telling the truth.

When I begin to think I might've made a mistake, he reaches out and places his hand over mine. "You're so fragile," he murmurs, wonder in his voice. "And yet, you're so full of life."

I've always considered my human frailty to be a bad thing. Compared to a vampire, a human might as well be an insignificant little ant. Somehow he makes being a human sound like something special. "Would you become human again if such a thing were possible?" I ask.

"Yes," he replies without hesitation. "But I'm not sorry I was turned."

I think I understand. "You would have never met Alice or the rest of your family," I say.

He laughs. I seem to have amused him. "I am glad to know the Cullens."

He says it as if he hasn't lived with them for years. "You must miss them," I say quietly.

"I will see them again," he replies, unconcerned.

I don't take my eyes off of the road. "I think I'm going to miss you when you go back to them."

It's funny how quickly I've become attached to Jasper. The more I learn about him, the more I like him. He's a fantastic friend, and he's made the past two days bearable. I really can't thank him enough for everything he's done for me.

"Oh, silly human," he replies affectionately. "I'm not going anywhere."


	5. Chapter 5

**Jasper's POV**

"Sleep, Bella," I murmur, tucking a stray curl behind her ear.

"Just one more chapter," she says, her attention fully on the book in her hands.

Watching her bent head, I smile at her affectionately. "You're going to be a bear tomorrow."

Gazing at me from under her eyelashes, she purses her lips. "You're not going to let me read another chapter, are you?"

Raising my hands in surrender, I fight a grin. "Sorry, sorry. Read on."

She shakes her head like she doesn't believe me, her dark eyes twinkling happily. "You say that and two minutes from now you'll start talking again."

Putting on my best innocent face, I say, "On my word as a gentleman, I will stay silent so the lady can read her story."

Smiling, she gets on all fours, and shuffles to the top of the bed. She aligns our hips together, so we're sitting side by side. "I'm going to hold you to that," she replies, her head moving to rest against my shoulder as she opens her book back to where she had left off.

I've never been this near a human before. The only exception is when I used to carry out Maria's dirty work. It's nice having her so close though. Her softness is so unlike my hard body, and her warmth feels foreign next to my cold skin.

"Okay," she says a while later. "I'm ready for bed. Are you going to stay again?"

I'm not sure if she wants me to or not. She's calm right now; she's not giving me any clues. I do not want her to feel as if I'm suffocating her, but I'm not sure I can actually leave her. If she ever requested such a thing, I would more than likely stay by the house rather than return to the empty Cullen house.

"I would like to," I tell her, watching her closely for a negative reaction.

She smiles, and pulls the cover up and over her. "Good."

I turn her bedside lamp off for her, completely enjoying the happiness weighing me down into the mattress. I have never known peace like this. I have yearned for it my entire life, but I have never had it. Until now.

"Jasper?"

Moving to lie with her, I run my fingers down her arm, feeling goosebumps rise at the caress. "Yes?"

"You said earlier, you weren't going anywhere," she whispers. "I don't want you to say that again."

My hand freezes. "What?"

I see, as well as feel, her try to stay in control of her emotions. "Edward promised me the same thing."

Oh. "Okay," I say softly, running my other hand through her loose curls.

With Bella, words mean very little. Edward broke her trust, he promised her he would never leave her, and he broke that promise. She won't believe my promise because of him, which is fine because I have always been a man of action. I know I'm not going anywhere, and soon so will she.

She falls asleep quickly, and I grab her discarded book. I read, content just to be near her.

* * *

"You're anxious," I say, sensing her nervousness.

"Mike asked me out," she replies. She's blushing.

Red. I see red as it bleeds into my eyeballs. "Did he?" I manage to ask curiously.

She gives me a small nod. She keeps looking over her shoulder surreptitiously. Mike, the moron, has taken her attention away from me. She's watching for him to enter the lunchroom. She shouldn't care if he is in the lunchroom or _Siberia_.

My throat feels tight, and it burns but not with the need for blood. "What did you say to him?" I question, not wanting to scare her, but very much wanting to rip Mike limb from limb. Screw the blood.

She's still observing the door discreetly. "I told him I would think about it."

I give up the pretense of breathing. I remove my hands from the table, lest it crumble to pieces due to my contained rage.

_She's human. Of course she wants to be with her own species. She tried being with a vampire and look how that ended._ _She will never want me. I have already lost._

"You like him," I state as fact, my voice flat.

"I feel bad for him," she corrects.

I think about what that could mean. "I don't understand."

"I've rejected him so many times...I don't want to hurt him, but I can't lie and pretend there's a chance for us either," she explains.

Flexing my fingers, I start to calm down. " So you don't care for him?" I ask, needing the clarification.

"Not as anything more than a friend."

I smile then, my worry fading when I feel the truth of her words. "He'll get over it," I say dismissively.

Eyes narrowing, she points an accusing finger at me. "That's not very nice, Jasper."

I so love when she tries to put me in my place. Widening my smile, I lean over the table towards her. "I'm not a nice person," I inform her, showing my teeth to prove my point.

She folds her arms over her chest, clearly unimpressed. "You're much nicer than you want people to think you are," she says, calling me out.

_I love this human girl._

"Not true," I disagree. "The only person I care enough to be nice to is you." Too absorbed with her delicate blush that's just so Bella, I don't catch her response. "Say again?"

" _I said_ , flattery will get you nowhere."

"Are you sure?" I purr, breathing into her face.

I'm pushing, I know, but I want her. I want to be with her, and patience has never been a virtue of mine. Of course I'll wait forever for her, but I'd rather not. I've waited long enough, haven't I? At least that's what I tell myself.

Her heart rate accelerates, and her body stills as if in a trance. Like this I can imagine she cares for me the way I do for her. It's a nice fantasy.

"I hate when you do that," she grumbles, after she shakes herself out of it.

"Go with me to the dance next week," I say abruptly. I need to step up my game before some other imbecile catches her eye. Going slow isn't working for me anymore.

It takes her a few seconds to catch up. "You want to go to the dance?"

"With you," I say.

"Why? It's hardly your thing, and it's definitely not mine."

"It might be fun," I coax. "I used to go to all of the school events with Alice. I will miss attending these human functions."

It's wrong to pretend I'm asking because I might miss doing something I was forced to do with Alice. I hated said functions, and I still do, but it will give me a chance to get her to see us as something more than friends. I don't expect her to forget Edward just like that, but I want to help her see what we could be, if given the chance.

"I didn't even think...Of course I'll go with you, Jasper," she promises, looking contrite.

I'm a manipulative bastard. I'm not sorry. "I will of course pay for your dress," I say.

She makes a face. "Something to look forward to," she replies sarcastically.

I chuckle at her put out expression. "Thank you for doing this," I say seriously.

She waves my thanks away with a shrug. "You've done so much for me. Besides, what are friends for?"

I'm beginning to loath that word. What I feel for her goes far beyond friendship. It goes far beyond _love._ It's more than anything I've ever experienced before. Alice told me it would be everything I could imagine and more, but nothing could have ever prepared me for Bella.

I remember the day I met Alice. The first thing she told me after she had introduced herself, was, "We could have a lovely life together, Jasper. We would be very happy, but there's someone else. I've seen her; a human girl, and she will be your life if you wait for her."

I liked Alice from the start. Her happy emotions were so strong, I struggled not to feel the same way. I could easily see myself being with her, and after everything I had went through, I wanted to be with someone who could help me forget my past. Alice seemed perfect, but something held me back.

I asked Alice if the girl would love me back, I asked if the wait would be worth it. Her reply was, "I've seen her return your feelings, and I've seen her with another. I cannot say which vision will come to pass."

I chose then. I chose the nameless, faceless girl. At the time, I didn't know why. Why wait for someone who might not want me? I know why now. It's because she's Bella. She wears converse, and she puts others before herself, and she loves with everything she's got. Her passion overwhelms me, it consumes me. _She_ makes everything I've been through worth it.

I understood when I first saw her. Her brown curls, and chocolate colored eyes caught my attention first. The gentle sway of her hips, and her porcelain skin were next. I saw her and I knew she was perfect. She chose Edward though, which hurt more than being turned. For those few months, I feared I had lost her before ever having her, but her birthday party changed everything.

I did something that night that was arguably criminal. Alice had told me what would happen if I attacked Bella when she pricked her finger, earlier that day. I struggled with what I should do, I tried to do the right thing. I _tried_ , but I pretended to get in a frenzy when the paper pried her flesh apart anyway. I watched Alice's vision unfold, and I was thrilled.

I regretted having to cause Bella such pain, but she was so much stronger than I, or anyone else, had given her credit for. She let Edward go gracefully, and she hasn't let herself break down since that night in her room. I watched her then, from the tree outside her window. It was my way of punishing myself for what I had done.

"Jasper," Bella's voice breaks me out of my thoughts. "Are you okay?"

I force a smile. "I'm great."

Her brows furrow; I reach out to touch her face with my fingertips. "I'm fine really," I reassure her.

Her frown disappearing, she smiles at me, relieved. "The bell rang," she says.

I was so deep in thought, I hadn't noticed. "Let's go then," I say, tossing her food away.

We walk out and I barely notice the jealousy pouring off of Mike in the hallway. What I do catch makes me smile. I turn my head to stare at him, and smirk when I detect a hint of fear.

 _Tough luck, buddy,_ I think _._ This _is a war, and I know better than anyone how to win one._


	6. Chapter 6

"Could you bring my truck to school while I'm in gym?" I ask Jasper.

"Why do you need your truck? I'm taking you home."

I'm both amused and ruffled by his take charge attitude. "No, you're going to hunt," I inform him firmly.

He relieves me of the large textbooks in my arms. "I'm fine, Bella."

I stop him from walking to our next class. "Jasper your eyes are black. How long has it been since you've hunted?" I beg him to tell me the truth with my eyes.

At first he refuses to make eye contact, instead choosing to stare at the grey lockers surrounding us. It isn't until I cup his cheek, and guide his face to mine that he gives in. "Six days," he murmurs for my ears alone.

My eyes widen involuntarily. "Seriously? It's a miracle you haven't snapped."

"I'm not going to snap, Bella."

"Why are you being so difficult?" I ask, frustrated at his stubbornness. "You know you need to hunt, so why won't you?"

His jaw tightens. He glares at the floor like it's done something offensive to him personally. "What if you need me?" he snaps angrily.

I take a step back. He's upset, and I'm not sure why. "I'll be fine, Jasper. Edward..." I trail off as soon as the name passes my lips.

Edward. I've hardly given him any thought in the past few days. All my time has been spent with Jasper. Deciding to think about what that might mean later, I finish my sentence, "Edward would leave me to hunt when he needed to, and I was just fine."

"I have a bad feeling," he whispers, his voice rough with an emotion too intense for me to wrap my head around.

"What are you afraid is going to happen?"

I watch him run a pale hand through his hair. His face is creased in frustration. "I don't know. I just don't want to leave you for an extended amount of time," he replies.

"Look, I know you think I'm a pathetic human who can't take care of herself, but I can," I tell him. "You have nothing to worry about."

He smiles a little at my defensiveness. "I know you are not incompetent, Bella."

Sighing, I start walking again. "We're going to be late."

"Hey," he calls, taking long strides till he's caught up with me. "I'm sorry. I know you can take care of yourself."

Edward used to make me feel so inferior. I know he didn't mean to, but it's how I felt regardless. How _could_ I feel any different next to someone like Edward? I could hardly compete with someone who could end me in the time it takes a heart to beat. That's one of the main reasons I wanted him to turn me, so I could be his equal.

Now I feel small next to Jasper, and I hate it. "It's fine," I reply, summoning a small, half-hearted grin.

"You're sure?" he asks, his gaze searching to see if I'm telling the truth or not.

"Yes, now let's go," I say, my tone teasingly bossy. My insecurities are mine to deal with. I refuse to burden Jasper with them.

"I will hunt after school," he whispers in my ear once we're in our seats.

I kiss his pale cheek. "Thank you."

* * *

"Have a good day, Bells?" Charlie asks, his head poking around the corner. He's sitting at the table, drinking a beer.

"Yeah. I got an A on my English paper," I say, heading towards the kitchen. Hopefully, we have something besides fish. If I have to eat any more of it, I might puke.

"Smart girl," Charlie replies proudly.

The phone rings while I'm routing around in the fridge. "I'll get it, Bells."

We've got nothing. Not even an egg. Thinking I'm going to have to go to the store, I slam the refrigerator door shut. Maybe we could have cereal for dinner? I'll settle for anything if it means I don't have to go out again. I'll even eat fish.

"Jacob's on the phone!" Charlie yells from the living room.

Jacob? I haven't talked to him since Prom. Why would he be calling me? I slowly make my way to Charlie. He's holding the phone out to me, and I have to make myself take it.

"Hello?" I speak into the phone.

"Bella!" Jacob's loud, boisterous voice booms across the receiver. "I hope I'm not bothering you."

He doesn't seem too concerned about it either way. The thought makes me smile. Jacob will never change. "I wasn't doing anything," I reply.

"Good. I was calling to see if you'd like to come down to the reservation. We haven't hung out in a long time," he babbles nervously. "I'd like to see you."

"Oh."

His laugh warms me. "I'll take that as a no?" he asks, not sounding offended.

"Yes. I mean, I'd love to hang out," I say, laughing at my lack of social skills.

There's approximately 5 seconds of silence and then, "That's great! See you in 30 minutes?"

I look up and notice Charlie's eager grin. Great. "Sounds good," I reply.

"See you then," Jacob says, his excitement coming through the line.

I hang up, and set the phone down. "Stop smiling," I order, studiously ignoring Charlie's knowing stare.

"He's a good kid," Charlie states, settling into the couch cushions.

Grabbing my keys, I look at my dad lounging comfortably on our old, worn couch. "You going to be okay for dinner?" I ask him.

"I'll come up with something," he replies, waving me away. "Go have some fun."

I plan to. I've missed Jacob, though I hadn't realized until he called. It worked out perfectly too. Jasper's out hunting, and I've got nothing else to do. And Jacob sounded so happy about me coming over. It's hard not to be happy when Jacob's happy. It's going to be a fun afternoon.

* * *

Jasper's POV

I feed quickly. I stick close to home, finding only a few deer and rabbits. I suck the animals dry, anxious to get back to Bella. I push myself to run past my limit, and when I am in the tree, parallel to her window, I feel that something's off.

Her scent. Her scent is old, like she hasn't been here for a few hours. Worried, I check the driveway. Her truck is gone.

Feeling panic start to control my mind, I jump down from the tree, and pace like a mad man. If she's hurt...

_If she was hurt, Charlie wouldn't be in the living room, watching baseball. She's probably out with a friend, or out running errands._

Trying to stay calm and rational, I sniff the air, seeing if I can trace her scent. There's nothing. She's been gone too long. Quickly becoming agitated, I resume my pacing.


	7. Chapter 7

I drive home, a happy smile glued to my mouth. The afternoon with Jacob had been perfect. His warm, caring nature soothed the jagged edges of my soul like a healing balm. It reminded me why I liked being around him - he's the sun peeking out on a cloudy day, and in Forks, the sun is hard to find.

I cruise my truck into the driveway, wondering if Jasper's back yet. I missed him while I was with Jacob. I didn't ache for him, or feel like I was suffocating without him - it was more subtle and softer than that. I missed his laugh and his smile, and his bright eyes. I can't wait to see him again.

I hop down onto the soggy grass, losing my footing slightly against the slick mud. Shaking my head at my clumsiness, I lock the door.

Without warning, two arms cage me in, one arm on either side of my body. I open my mouth to scream, but I stop when I get an addictive whiff of my mysterious assailant.

"Jasper?" I try to turn around, but the arms won't let me.

"You're okay," he says, relieved.

Confused, I twist my head, wanting to see his face. "I told you I would be."

"You wasn't here when I got back," he whispers, his breath cooling the skin underneath my jaw.

Beginning to understand the problem, I cringe at what must have been going through his head. He told me he was worried something would happen, and I disappear without a word. I even neglected to leave a note. "I'm an idiot," I say, sighing heavily. "I was visiting a friend."

I feel him press against me, my back to his front. His arms snake around my waist, and his head falls to my shoulder. "I was going crazy thinking something had happened to you," he says softly.

Butterflies are swarming like bees in my stomach. I feel lightheaded at his nearness, and I have to fight the urge to press even closer to him. His embrace warms me despite his cold exterior, and while I'm trying to regain control of my thoughts, and my body, a sickening realization comes over me.

The past few days race through my mind - the seemingly innocent touches, the nights he stayed over, the desire to be with him...

No, no, _no_.

Alice. Alice is his _mate_. What is wrong with me? I can't have feelings for Jasper. He's taken, and he's my friend. He's only ever going to be my friend.

I lower my hands to where Jasper's clasping my waist. He lets me pry them apart. "I'm sorry I worried you," I say, my voice shaky.

I don't look at him as I turn to the house. Confused, I stumble towards the door, desperate to get to my room so I can be alone.

"Bella? What's wrong?" He flashes in front of me, blocking my way. His eyes are drilling holes into my face.

I manage to look at him long enough to say, "I'm tired." I hope the sad explanation will be enough for him. "Jacob wore me out," I add, wanting to lighten the mood.

Head cocked, he seems to be searching to see if my emotions match my words. Panicked that he might feel my sudden attraction for him, I shut down. I shove my feelings away, hiding them the best I can.

Seemingly taken aback, Jasper staggers backwards, a stunned look on his face. "I can't feel you anymore."

Relief courses through my body. He didn't find anything. "I'm sorry, Jasper, but I really am exhausted, and I need to get some sleep. I'll talk to you tomorrow," I tell him, effectively shutting down any chance of him staying with me tonight.

I shut the door in his face, and I pretend I didn't see the hurt in his confused, topaz eyes.

Charlie's asleep on the couch, so I make it to my room in record time, not even bothering with the lights as I sink to the floor. Tears flow down my face. I wipe them away, but they keep coming, relentless in their descent.

I'm an idiot. Edward's not even been gone two weeks and I'm already falling for someone else? Falling for someone I can't even have! Alice is my best friend. She's my wonderful, bubbly, happy friend, and to even think about Jasper as anything other than a _friend_ is wrong. It's so wrong, and I hate myself for being so stupid.

In a sudden burst of energy, I jump to my feet. I run for the phone on my desk. I can fix this. I'm _going_ to fix this.

Dialing, I wait anxiously for the person to pick up. "Jacob?"

"Hey, did you forget something?" he asks.

I wipe away the last of my tears, swallowing nervously in preparation for what I'm about to do. "No, I'm calling to see if you'd like to go out with me tomorrow night."

I hear a harsh exhale, and then, "Are you asking me out on a date?"

My fingers clench the phone so tightly, it creaks under the pressure. "Yes."

He laughs breathlessly. "Wow. Uh, yeah, I'd love to hang out tomorrow."

"Good," I say, my voice falsely energetic. "I was thinking we could go see the new thriller that just came out?"

"Awesome! I'll pick you up at 6."

I hear the smile in his voice. "I'm looking forward to it."

"Me too, Bella," he replies earnestly.

"Goodnight," I say, ending the call.

_It's going to be okay. I'm not going to hurt Alice, or lose Jasper. I fixed it. He'll never know. No one will ever know._

* * *

I get to my truck the next day, thinking I made it without having to confront Jasper, but as soon as I get on the road, I hear a loud noise, and in my rearview mirror, I see him standing in the bed of my truck.

The next thing I know, he's climbing in through the passenger's side window. "I'm sorry about last night. Please forgive me," is the first thing he says to me.

I don't want to talk about last night. In my opinion, it was worse than Edward shutting me out of his life, and leaving town. "There's nothing to forgive," I reply quietly, hoping we can end this conversation fast.

"I upset you," he goes on, determination lighting his eyes on fire. "You're allowed to do what you want, go where you want, without having to talk to me about it. I overreacted, and I'm sorry."

He thinks I'm acting this way because he was a tad overprotective? Not knowing if I should laugh or cry, I stick with a half smile. "It's okay, Jasper. _We're_ okay."

He gives me a hesitant grin. "You would tell me if we weren't?"

"Of course," I scoff playfully. "If you can't be honest with a friend, then who can you be honest with? That's why..." I pause to take a deep breath. "I wanted you to be the first to know I have a date tonight. With Jacob."

I glance over at him after a long bout of silence. He's watching me, but he doesn't look like he's seeing me. Or seeing anything really. "Jasper?"

"You have a date," he murmurs quietly, otherwise staying very still.

"With Jacob," I say again.

I suppose it _is_ a shock considering how little time Edward's been gone, but it can't be helped. I've got to get Jasper out of my system before he catches on to my feelings for him. It wasn't supposed to turn out this way, but then again, Edward and I were supposed to be together forever, so I guess that's life.

His face is an emotionless, blank slab. "This is very sudden," he says slowly.

I nod in agreement. "He's a special guy though. It feels right."

It's the truth. Jacob has always been a bright spot in my life, and I know he will be good for me. I also know I can be happy with him. I might not feel nearly as strong for him as I do for Jasper, but I have to give it time.

"I see," he says, studying the passing scenery with dead eyes. I've never seen him so...desolate. Even when I hardly knew anything about him, he showed some sign of being alive. Now though...now it's as if someone has sucked all the emotion right out of him.

I park the truck in the school parking lot. Worried, I wait for him to say or do something. "I thought you would be happy for me," I whisper after several long moments of quiet.

He gets out, not saying a word. I watch him walk around the front of the truck, coming to a stop when he reaches my door. He pulls it open, and waits for me to get down. He's still not looking at me when he says, "I am _thrilled_ for you."

"You don't sound thrilled," I point out, baffled my his attitude.

His smile is acidic. "I am," he insists. "In fact, I would very much like to meet this young man of yours."

This small sign of interest makes me feel better. When he sees Jacob, I know he'll approve, and more importantly he will never suspect that I've come to care for him as more than a friend.

"I think that's a great idea," I say, somehow finding a smile.

"Fantastic," he replies, a dark smirk turning his naturally angelic feature into something dangerous.


	8. Chapter 8

**Jasper's POV**

"You're beautiful, Bella," I say.

She's looking into the mirror over her vanity, disapproval shining strong in her eyes. "Thank you," she murmurs, distracted.

Unlike the other night, I can feel her nervousness. The viscous emotion will settle, then grow into a high wave as it crashes over her. It pulses in time to the pounding of her heart.

"It's going to be okay," I say gently, coming up behind her, wanting to offer comfort.

Stepping away from me, she walks to the door, fiddling with the rings on her fingers the entire way. "Of course it will be," she replies bravely.

This isn't fair. I shouldn't be here, waiting for another man to take her out. It should be me, not Jacob - me. Unfortunately, Bella didn't choose me, and there's not much I can do about that.

The tragic part is that her happiness means more to me than the dark fantasies I had concerning her new beau, so if Jacob makes her happy, I'll support her decision.

I started being supportive two hours ago when she couldn't seem to settle on an outfit. I finally managed to keep her in a pair of dark washed skinny jeans, converse, and a light blue sweater. Her hair is curling down her back, and she even took the time to paint her nails a navy blue.

Alice would be so proud if she could see her now. I'm glad she can't because if she was here, she'd be sending me sympathetic looks, her little pixie face creased in distress.

"He's late," I comment idly.

It's 6:10. Bella said he was supposed to be here at 6.

She glances at the clock on her nightstand. "He's not that late," she defends.

I keep my sarcastic thoughts to myself when I see her bite her lip anxiously. My poor human is a nervous wreck. "I'm sure he'll be here soon," I say, going to the window to look out.

"Maybe something happened?" she asks, looking to me for answers I do not have.

"He'll be here," I reply confidently. _He better get here,_ I think _. If he hurts her, I'll kill him._

She plops onto her bed, huffing at the ceiling. "He's not coming," she mumbles.

I decide to stay standing by the window. She doesn't let me get near her anymore. With each passing day, we get further and further away from each other, and I am not sure how I can breach the distance. "Not even an idiot would stand you up, Bella."

"Yeah, well, it seems to be my lot in life to be rejected by guys," she replies, rolling her eyes as if it's not a big deal.

"Edward's an idiot," I say. "He's young. He's not quite ready for a girl like you."

Laughing, she says, "Right. A seventy year old vampire isn't ready for a teenage _girl_."

"Oh, how little you understand," I murmur.

She's about to say something when the doorbell rings. I was so engrossed in our conversation, I hadn't realized we had company, but I can smell him now. He smells off - definitely not human. His blood doesn't call to me; it repels me. Immediately, I'm on my guard.

"That's him," she says softly, looking scared.

"Bella-"

In the blink of an eye, she's out the door, stomping loudly down the stairs. I use my vampire speed to catch up to her. Fighting the urge to growl like an animal, I stay close behind her, prepared to push her out of harms way if the situation calls for it.

"Bella," the dark-skinned boy greets happily.

She tucks her hair behind her ears, a small, hesitant grin curving her mouth enticingly. "Hi, Jacob."

The boy looks over Bella's shoulder at me. His smile disappears, an angry frown taking its place. "Who's this?" he asks.

Turning to me, Bella says, "Jacob, this is Jasper. Jasper, this is Jacob."

"What's he doing here?" he asks, his eyes narrowing dangerously.

She gives him a long, curious look. She doesn't understand what's wrong, but I do. I remember a long time ago when we made a treaty with men like Jacob. The reason he doesn't smell appealing is because Jacob is not entirely human - he's more. He's a shape-shifter, and he's angry right now, which is bad.

"He's my friend," Bella replies. "I wanted the two of you to meet."

Scowling like he smells something bad, Jacob steps through the threshold, gazing at me with disdain. "You're one of the Cullen's."

I step gracefully between him and Bella, providing a save barrier for my fragile human. "Yes, I'm Edward's brother," I say.

His anger increases considerably. "Edward," he snarls. "Figures. Wanted to stick around to witness the damage he caused, huh?"

I try to send him a dose of calm, but his mind slashes it to shreds in seconds, not fazing him in the slightest. "I care for Bella," I reply honestly.

This seems to make his anger turn into a mindless rage. He begins to pant heavily, and he moves as if to come at me, changing his mind at the last minute. "I think you should go," he threatens.

"Jacob-" Bella starts to step around me, but I flash an arm to keep her in place.

"Don't touch her!" Jacob yells, running at me.

"Jacob!" Bella screams.

He's no match for my strength, so when he wraps his fingers around my throat, I easily fend him off. "Calm down, Jacob."

I tug Bella backwards with me, watching Jacob closely for any sign of attack. I can see his body shaking uncontrollably as if...as if...

No.

Once again, I throw as much calm at him as I can, and this time he pauses. I think it might have worked, but his head shakes quickly like a dog shakes its body to get rid of excessive, unwanted water. "Stop doing that," he tells me, his dark eyes turning slowly to gold.

"Jacob, what's wrong?" Bella asks, again attempting to get around me to go to her friend.

"No, Bella," I whisper. "He's not safe right now."

"Jacob won't hurt me," she shoots back.

I block her again. "He's not in control of himself. Trust me, Bella."

During our short conversation, Jacob's been gazing at us, the tremors shaking his body getting steadily worse. "I'm not going to hurt her," he says, his voice deeper than it was a few moments ago.

"If you don't get a hold of yourself, I will make you leave," I tell him. "You _will_ hurt her if you don't calm down."

A challenging gleam settles in his eyes. "I'd like to see you try to make me leave Bella with you," he says darkly.

I realize he's not going to be able to calm down. He's too out of it. I doubt he's ever shifted before. If I remember correctly, they don't learn about their heritage till they're a little older. Regardless, he can't be anywhere near Bella if he shifts.

"Why don't we go outside?" I suggest quietly.

"I'm fine here, thanks," he retorts, stepping forward.

"Jake, please calm down," Bella pleads. "Tell me what's wrong."

"Nothing's wrong, Bella," Jacob replies angrily. "I just don't get why you're hanging out with this guy."

"He's a friend," Bella reasons. "He's helped me with Edward."

The shaking has gotten so bad, even Jacob looks confused and more than a little scared. The anger blinds him to the truth though, making it hard for him to see what's happening.

His body starts to convulse, and in a flash, I'm running at him, throwing him out the door. "Bella, stay back!" I roar.

In a burst of energy, Jacob's no longer a two-legged man, but instead a four-legged wolf. A very large, powerful wolf. In the back of my mind, I think he's beautiful. His coloring is a dark, rusted brown, his hair shines, and his pointy fangs bite and snap ferociously. He's a fascinating specimen to be sure.

He paces back and forth across the yard, his gaze completely focused on me. I hear Bella gasp behind me, and I feel her unbelief. "Jacob," she breathes.

Snarling, Jacob lunges for me, and my hand comes out to grip his throat. I pin him to the ground with force, and I'm about to get him in a headlock when the world comes screeching to a stop.

Bella jumps into the fray, and I freeze. I haven't known fear since I became a vampire. I'm practically indestructible, but Bella isn't. I stand frozen a second too long, and by the time I get control of my body again, Jacob's razor sharp claws have made contact with her stomach. The sound of ripping flesh echoes in the air; the sweet smell of blood floods my senses.

Her surprised eyes find mine. Her hands press against the wound, and I watch as red seeps between her fingers. "Jasper," she whispers right before she falls.

It's then that time starts back up again. Jacob had stood motionless after his claws ripped through her skin, but as soon as I fall beside her, he runs off into the woods. "Bella," I say frantically, my hands fluttering uselessly over her abdomen.

Her eyes are slipping closed. "No. Bella, stay with me. Bella," I snap, shaking her shoulder roughly, bullying her into doing what I want her to do.

Her eyelids flutter open. Relieved, I quickly take my shirt off to wrap it around her, tying it tight so she won't lose anymore blood. "Stay awake," I beg.

As gently as I can, I pick her up. She cries out, moaning my name, and my heart breaks. "Don't you dare leave me," I growl. "You're not allowed to leave me."

I tighten my grip on her. And I run.


	9. Chapter 9

I have failed. My strength, my power, my speed wasn't enough to keep her safe. She's bleeding out, dying, and I am not going to make it to the hospital in time.

"Bella." Her eyes refuse to open. "You've got to open your eyes," I beg. "Just open your eyes."

Her heart is beating faintly inside of her chest. It's the only sound that matters. Nothing else registers in my mind but the subtle rise and fall of her chest, visual proof that she's not gone yet.

I lay her down in the grass. I kneel beside her, desperate for a solution to the inevitable. She hasn't got much longer. Her breathing is uneven and it hitches in pain almost constantly now. "I'm sorry, Bella," I whisper.

I push her hair away from her deathly pale face. I need to hear her tell me it's okay, but she won't wake up. "I'm not Edward," I say in an angry rush. "I am selfish. I'm so sorry."

Quickly, in fear that I will run out of time, I lean over her, lower my lips to her neck, and bite into her skin. Her blood stains my tongue and my teeth and my lips. It slides down my throat, satisfying the ache I have long grown used to. However, I release her once I know my venom flows through her veins.

"Don't hate me," I murmur. I pick her up and start running for the Cullen's house.

I do not know what to make of her silence. Every human I have ever known has always started screaming in agony once the venom has been released into their bloodstream. Does her silence mean it didn't work? Is she going to die anyway?

No.

She's going to live.

She's going to open her eyes in a few days.

And she will hate me.

That's okay though. I'm not sorry.

* * *

_Three days later -_

Slowly, her body has started to change. Her hair gets darker, richer. Her naturally porcelain complexion becomes even more smooth. Her lips get fuller, more red. Her beauty is enhanced by what she has become, and I find that I cannot look away.

I have stayed by her side the entire time. The waiting has been torture. I miss her. I know she will be angry and confused when she opens her eyes to find that her entire world has been turned upside down, but at least she will be alive.

Nothing will ever be the same for her. And what makes it worse is that she didn't even have time to prepare. "You're still Bella," I reassure her still figure. "That will never change. I won't let you forget who you are. I will always be here to remind you."

I walk to the window, needing to see the outside world. The trees are still green, the ground is still there, the sky is still a dark grey. It's the girl inside the house that is no longer the same.

Her heart. It has stopped beating. The last beat echoes throughout the room, the sound lasting for an eternity. Like the pounding of war drums, it fades away because the war is now of over.

I stand several feet away, knowing she won't like being crowded at first. If I could sweat, I would be sweating right now. The moment of truth has arrived, and I'm not ready. I will never be ready for her hatred, for her disdain.

Her long eyelashes flutter delicately. Her mouth opens as if to yawn, but she doesn't. Her long, slim fingers clench into fists, and the next second she's standing, searching the room with an animal-like intensity.

"Bella," I say softly. "It's okay. You're safe now."

Her ruby eyes land heavily on my face. Gazing at me with laser-like focus, she tilts her head to the side. "Jasper," she says.

I nod, smiling. "Yes."

Her eyes fall to her hands, and her hands move to clutch her throat. She's thirsty. Of course. Then her hands fall to her sides. "Jake," she cries out suddenly, her face alarmed.

"He's fine," I say, confused. She shouldn't be focusing on anything other than blood right now.

"I'm not..." Her eyes find the mirror opposite her. "I'm not human anymore," she finishes quietly.

She takes slow steps towards the glass. Her hands touch her nose and her cheeks hesitantly. She looks at her reflection closely, her expression giving nothing away. Suddenly, she spins to face me. "I'm a vampire," she says, her voice incredulous.

"I had to," I say quickly, earnestly. "You were going to die. I couldn't let that happen."

I talk as if I am completely confident in my decision, but inside I am trembling. I am terrified she will leave, and never come back. I fear she will not be able to forgive this.

Turning back to the mirror, she says, "My eyes are red."

I feel her confusion and her growing sadness. She's not happy about losing her humanity; she's not mad either. There's a dull pain emanating from her body, and it bleeds into her red eyes.

"They'll turn to gold in a few weeks," I say.

"My father?" she asks abruptly.

"He's been searching for you," I tell her.

Her eyes close, and her face twists with regret. "I can't cry," she whispers. "I feel like I'm going to, but I can't.

Cringing, I take a cautious step towards her. "I'm sorry."

I stand my ground when her gaze cuts across my face sharply. "Why didn't you let me die?"

"I couldn't lose you."

Looking lost, her eyes return to the mirror once more. She gives no warning before her fist slams into the glass. "I dont want this," she says, angry and desperate.

_She did when she was with Edward._

"I'm sorry," I repeat stupidly.

I have run out of words. My supply has been exhausted, and I do not know what to say or do. At this stage in the game, there isn't much left to say. There isn't a rewind button I can push to make this better, and I wouldn't push it if there was.

"Stop saying that," she growls.

I refrain from apologizing again. This hurts so much more than I thought it would. I would never turn back time and change things. I am far too desperate to keep her with me. Letting her die would be like committing suicide. But the pain of knowing she isn't happy is strong because I know how she feels. I did not ask to become what I am, but I am what I am nonetheless.

"Bella, being what we are..." I take another step in her direction. "It's not so bad. Once you get used to-"

"I have no one," she hisses, coming straight for me.

This is wrong. All of it. The air, the room, the curl of her lips, her dead heart, her red eyes that gleam in the sun. My skin feels too tight and my chest aches with the need for air. My heart wants to start beating, it's begging me to let it pound away until the end of time, but it's too late.

"You have me," I say. I reach a hand out; my fingertips graze her wrist. Her skin is ice. Just like mine.

Her laugh is brittle and hard like stone. "Alice has you. _I_ am alone. I don't have my mom or Charlie or even Jacob anymore. Turns out he's some kind of mutant. Go figure," she spits out sarcastically.

"Bella, there's something you should know." I should have told her the day after her party, but I was scared. Scared of rejection, scared of scaring her away.

She looks at me. Waits for me to say something. I look back at her, and try to make my mouth work. "Alice and I have never been together," I say calmly.

I drop the bomb that will destroy the little world we have created. Her eyebrows furrow, her mouth stretches out into a harsh, thin line. "I don't understand," she tells me.

I plant my feet into the wooden floor. "Alice and I have never been in a romantic relationship with each other."

"Why..." She clears her throat. "Why would you make everyone believe you were?"

I turn to the window. The sun is trying to peak through the clouds. "We're friends," I explain quietly. "Everyone assumed we were involved, and it seemed easier to let them think what they wanted."

"You let _me_ assume," she accuses. She shakes her head, disbelieving. "Why did you stay, Jasper? Why didn't you leave with the others?" she demands to know, closing the distance between us.

Her breath washes over me, the sweetness of it makes my head spin and my knees tremble. "I stayed for you."

"Why?"

I drag my hand down my face. I take an unnecessary breath. My nerves are buzzing, my legs are weak, my head feels like it's about to explode. I slowly open my mouth to let loose the words that will either fix this mess, or make it worse. "Because I'm in love with you."


	10. Chapter 10

**Bella's POV**

"You're what?" I ask.

He doesn't look away. The weight of his stare is too much. His fingers clasp my wrist, tight. I notice how strong he is and how breakable I used to be. "I am," he whispers breathlessly, "in love with you, Bella Swan."

"No." I spin around, and run for the door. Before I know it, I'm no longer in the house, but just outside it.

I pace back and forth, fear and anger battling for dominance over my mind. Every emotion feels enhanced, making it hard to remember to _think_.

_He's lying. Like Edward lied. He will leave me. He will abandon me when things get tough. He won't stick around. He won't love me forever. And that's what I'm stuck with now._

_Forever._

Filled with so much anger, I scream. It's a horrible, miserable sound that cracks the earth and splits open the sky. I start running for the trees lining the backward. With one tug of my wrist, a tree is uprooted from the ground. It takes nothing for me to throw it.

The crack of wood against woods is deafening. So much so my scream is drowned out by it, but that's okay because I have a thousand screams lodged in the back of my throat.

"Bella," Jasper says. He's standing, arms crossed, by the garage.

"You don't love me," I tell him forcefully.

"I do."

"Stop it!" Another tree flies into the woods.

"Why won't you believe me?"

I turn to him. He's beautiful. More beautiful than I remember him being, but my eyes see things clearer now. I can see just how perfect he is. Too perfect. "I've heard those words before," I say bitterly. "I trusted in those words, and I was left heartbroken when they failed me."

"Bella," he says gently. "I am not Edward, nor will I ever be."

"I'm not going to fall into the same trap twice," I shoot back.

"You're angry!" he yells when I start walking into the woods, away from him. "You're confused and hurt. I get that, Bella! But you need to _listen_ to me. So help me if you don't stop and hear me out, I will _never_ stop following you. You won't be able to escape me. You can run for an eternity, but I will find you every single time."

I freeze. I can't seem to move. My feet have grown roots, and the roots are tangling their way into the core of the earth.

I hear him approach me. He moves cautiously, like one would with an abused dog. "The day I met Alice, she told me something," he says softly. "She told me about a girl. I wasn't given a name, but she told me if I waited for this girl, she would be my everything."

The back of my neck tingles when I feel his cool breath caress my skin. His fingers clasp my wrists gently but with a firmness I know is meant to keep me from running away. "I waited," he whispers in my ear.

His lips brush against my cheek. I can _hear_ his smile. "I waited for you," he tells me.

"Jasper," I gasp. "Please."

I don't know what I'm begging for.

"I chose you, sweet Bella. I will always choose you." He presses his face into the crook of my neck. "Even if you don't choose me," he says quietly.

"Why didn't you tell me?" I ask, needing to know why he kept everything from me for so long.

"You picked Edward."

Those three words answer most of my questions. He chose me, but I chose Edward, and he kept his feelings to himself. Probably for the sake of his family. Then when Edward left, he must have thought I wasn't ready to hear the truth, and I wasn't really.

I gently pry his fingers off of my wrists, and I turn around to face him properly. "I asked Jacob out on a date because I realised I had feelings for you, which I thought was bad because of Alice."

I say the words calmly as if I'm not scared out of my mind. If I was still human, my heart would be racing and my voice would be shaking. I feel a sharp pain at the thought that my heart will never beat again, but I push it away when I see Jasper's eyes clear.

The smile he gives me makes him look younger. "You have feelings for me?" he asks. The way he says it, so hopeful, breaks my useless heart.

I see Edward in my mind's eye, causing me to hesitate. I have to bury the image deep. Jasper isn't Edward. Jasper isn't Edward. _Jasper isn't Edward_.

He stayed. He saved my life. He says he loves me. And I care for him. I would be an complete idiot to push him away.

Feeling shy, I look up at him from under my eyelashes. "I do," I say firmly.

The words trigger something in him because suddenly his lips are on mine, and he's pressing me to his body as if he wants us to become one. Pulling away, he laughs happily. "Bella," he says my name on an exhale.

His lips find mine again. His touch is desperate and needy. His hands ask for more when he slips them under my shirt, his fingers blazing a fiery trail up my sides. His tongue begs for entrance into my mouth, and I part my lips, desperate for more as well.

"Well, this is a pretty sight."

Breaking out of Jasper's embrace, I spin towards the vampire not five feet away from us. "Edward," I murmur, temporarily confused.

He's different. Everything about him is...more. I couldn't _see_ him with my human eyes, but I can see him now. The sight of him turns my brain to mush. My thoughts are all scrambled. I'm not sure what to do.

Though Jasper doesn't seem to have the same problem. "Edward," he greets stiffly. "This is a surprise." He doesn't even try to make it sound like he's happy to see him.

"I gathered," Edward replies, his entire body tense.

Edward's eyes glide from Jasper to me, then back to Jasper again. His face is emotionless, and I'm about to open my mouth to say something when Alice comes skipping out, the backdoor slamming shut behind her.

"Bella!" she calls out happily. Her graceful approach distracts me from Edward.

Her hair is styled differently. No longer is it sticking up in all directions. She's got it curled around her face, the ends just touching her jawline.

 _What a silly thing to notice_ , I think.

Her thin arms wrap around me fiercely. "It's so good to see you again," she says cheerfully.

I can't help but smile at her exuberance. "It's good to see you too, Alice."

She smiles, causing her dimples to make an appearance. "I can't wait to start shopping! You're going to need a whole new wardrobe to go with your new look."

I make a face at the mental image her words create. "It will be fun," she scolds lightly. It hasn't even been an hour since she's been back and already she's forcing me to go shopping.

"Jasper, how are you?" she asks slyly, finally focusing on someone other than me.

Reluctantly, Jasper drags his eyes from Edwards stiff form. He grins down at Alice affectionately. "Just fine, Alice."

"I know. I had a vision," she says, smiling at us knowingly. "I'm sorry we intruded."

"It's fine," I say, looking to Edward. I attempt a smile, but find I have nothing to give but a tired grin.

"As glad as I am to see you Alice, what are you doing here?" Jasper asks.

I notice how he isn't even acknowledging Edward's presence now. Edward notices as well, if the dark look on his face is anything to go by.

Sobering, Alice glances back at her brother. "I saw you change Bella," she explains. "Edward wanted to see the change for himself."

The boy I fell in love with all those months ago, stares at me as he closes the few feet separating us. "Bella," he says, his melodic voice not as distracting as it was when I was human, but still overwhelming enough to leave me feeling off balance.

"Hi," I say lamely.

Jasper steps closer to me, and his arm curls around my waist, the touch undoubtedly possessive.

Alice smiles at the less than subtle move; Edward's jaw tenses. "I see a lot has changed in my absence," he remarks.

"Yes," Jasper replies coldly.

I glance up at Jasper. He's upset and I don't need to have his power to know he's worried. I make a decision then without really giving it much thought. "Jasper was going to take me hunting," I tell Edward and Alice. "I think we should do that now."

The ache in my throat has gotten worse, and it's starting to hurt. It's an uncomfortable sensation. One I'm not looking forward to dealing with for the rest of time.

Alice nods in understanding, and grips Edward's arm, taking him with her as she heads back to the house. "Take your time!" she says.

Once both of them are inside, I reach for Jasper's clenched fist. "Ready to teach me how to hunt?" I ask, smiling.

He doesn't return the smile, but he stops glaring at the house, so I consider it a victory. "I'm not sure how you have waited so long," he murmurs thoughtfully. "Newborns are not supposed to have as much control as you are exhibiting."

I laugh. "I've always been different."

He gazes at me, awe in his liquid eyes. "Yes."

I tug him into the woods. "Come on. I'm famished," I tease.

Gradually, he loosens up, a smile finding its way back to his face. I feel happy as I charge into the woods, Jasper right behind me. "Keep up if you can!" I yell over my shoulder playfully.

His laugh rings out through the forest. It makes me feel alive. _He_ makes me feel alive. He's been there for me. He's been my friend. He's helped me, and he's loved me. How could I do anything else, but love him back?

* * *

Hunting had been...interesting. I caught a buck, but I managed to tear my clothes and get most of the animal's blood on my person rather than down my throat.

Jasper had gotten a good laugh out of my clumsiness, but he reassured me it would get easier. He better be right. I definitely don't want to be the only clumsy vampire in existence.

I make out the house through the trees, and I stop walking. "Bella?"

I tighten my grip on his hand, hoping to put him at ease. "When we get back to the house I want to talk to Edward alone."

"That's a horrible idea," he states decisively, authoritatively.

"Trust me, Jasper. I know what I'm doing."

He looks like he's about to argue, but he doesn't. Letting go of my hand, he puts some distance between us. "I could use a run. I'll be back in a little while," he says unexpectedly.

I'm left standing there alone after he's gone, worrying for him. Sighing, I shove my hair up into a ponytail. He thinks I'm going to choose Edward again. The thought has crossed my mind. My first love is back and we're both vampires. The set-up is perfect. Except...there's Jasper now.

Edward and I have some things to discuss.


	11. Chapter 11

"You left. Without saying goodbye," I say as soon as I enter the kitchen.

Sitting at the large, white table, he doesn't look up when I enter the room. I can't be sure but I think he's afraid too. "I know," he replies.

I stand in the entryway, frozen in place. It's a horrible feeling wanting to cry, but not being able to. There's this pressure against my chest, and an ache in my throat. My eyes burn and they blink and they blink and they blink, but nothing. Not a drop.

"Why did you come back?" I ask.

"I saw Alice's vision. I wanted to make sure you were okay. She said you were, but I needed to see for myself."

I bite my lip, hard. "Why didn't you say goodbye when you left?"

He leans into the table, his shoulders curved inward. He looks tired. He looks old. "I thought it was best," he says.

"You thought it was best to leave me and not say a word?"

"Bella." He says my name like it's the most painful word in the world. "I knew Jasper loved you. I figured it out on your birthday."

He knew. He knew and he left. "How...?"

He bows his head, defeated. "I heard his thoughts. He kept his feelings secret. I never suspected..." he trails off, chuckling. "But he slipped on your birthday."

I shake my head. Back and forth. Back and forth. "So you just leave?" I ask incredulously.

"His feelings for you are stronger than anything I have ever encountered before," he tells me. "I talked with Alice, and she told me about the visions she'd had of you." He gazes at me with weary eyes. "How could I stand in the way of a love that strong?"

I haven't got an answer to that. I seem to have forgotten the answers to everything; I'm filled with questions, questions, questions. "I care for him," I say honestly. "You were gone. And he wasn't."

I drag my fingers down the wooden door frame. I feel the smooth material under my fingertips. At least I can still feel; I'm not numb yet.

Edward nods tightly. "I know."

"What happens now?"

Smiling unhappily, he says, "You continue to fall in love with Jasper, and I will be going back to Alaska."

Alice steps into the kitchen then. "I booked us the next flight," she tells Edward. "We leave in five hours."

"You won't stay for a while?" I ask.

Alice grins at me. "You and Jasper need more time together. Don't worry though. We'll be back for Christmas," she says, excited.

Edward spares me one more glance before he walks away. I hear him go to the door of his old room. He hesitates before stepping inside, closing the door softly behind him.

"Everything is going to be fine, Bella," Alice soothes. Her hand comes to rest against my arm. "This pain will only last a season."

"It's all messed up," I whisper.

"And it will get better," she replies, her voice kind. "I've seen it."

I look into her sweet face and I ask a question I might not want the answer to, "Did you ever resent me, Alice?"

"And why would I resent my best friend?" she questions.

"I've put a riff in your family, and somehow I also managed to steal Jasper from you."

Her laugh is like a thousand ringing bells. "You haven't stolen Jasper from anybody. He has always been yours."

"And Edward?"

"Will heal," she replies confidently. "You needn't worry about him. Right now I would go find Jazz. He's the one who really needs you right now."

"Where is he?"

She's amused. Her gold eyes are twinkling and sparkling. "Just out back."

The sun comes out from hiding right when I open the door. Something sparkles in my peripheral vision, and I look to the side, curious.

It's me. It's my arm that's sparkling as if a thousand tiny diamonds have embedded themselves into my skin. It's beautiful. I'm beautiful.

Movement up ahead drags me out of my thoughts, and I see Jasper just inside the trees. Faster than lightning, I run to him. "Are you going to stay out here till they leave?" I say, both teasing and serious.

"They're leaving?"

"In a few hours."

He tugs me into his arms. "I was worried," he confides quietly.

"I'm not going anywhere," I promise.

"I don't think I could take it if you did," he murmurs.

I let him clutch me to him, knowing he needs me close. I nuzzle his cheek affectionately. He should know I need him too even if I can't say the words yet. But I can say these words, "I choose you, Jasper."

He takes a deep breath, and I marvel at how human he still acts. Perhaps it's habit from having to be in public so often, but I find it comforting, and I hope he never stops. "I've waited a lifetime to hear those words," he says, kissing down the column of my neck, like it's his job and it has to be done thoroughly, perfectly.

"I'm sorry that I couldn't save you," he whispers after a bit.

"What are you talking about?"

"With Jacob. I froze," he says, disgust tarnishing his voice. "I've never done that before. I cannot tell you how sorry I am."

I lean back enough to be able to see his face. "It wasn't your fault," I say fiercely. "It was mine. I shouldn't have stepped in the middle like that, and I'm not one bit sorry you saved my life. I would be dead if it wasn't for you."

I need him to feel the truth in what I'm saying. I don't want him feeling guilty, I don't want him to be like Edward, always blaming himself. I am choosing to be with Jasper because these last couple of weeks with him, I've been different. Maybe even better. He makes me happy like no one else ever has.

With Edward I worried constantly about not being smart enough or pretty enough. It sucked and I am done with the insecurity. I am done with the self-doubt. I'm me, and I can't be anyone else, which means I need to be with someone who I feel comfortable with.

"Okay," he says, smirking his old Jasper smirk at me. "No more guilt."

Joy bursts through my chest and it travels to my fingers and toes. It takes over my face, and I know my smile is wider than it ever has been before.

He tucks my head under his chin, holding onto my body with a gentle strength I have yet to achieve. My strength is chaotic and destructive. It's just something else I'm going to need his help with.

Luckily, we have forever.

* * *

**Jasper's POV**

I feel Alice's excitement while she waits for us in the house. She's happy for us, but there's an underlying pain that I know is for Edward.

I felt his pain and anger earlier. It was strong, but restrained. I hadn't understood why at the time. Now I'm sensing it's because he's stepping out of the way. Otherwise, things wouldn't have been as clean and pretty as they were. I am going to have to thank him someday.

"I wish they would stay longer," Bella says as we head back.

"Edward can't, love. And Alice would love too, but she knows Edward needs her."

Bella sighs, her eyes sad, but resigned. "I hate that he's hurting."

I stuff the automatic fear I feel into a box and I push it out of my mind. She said she chose me, and I have to trust her. "He won't hurt forever," I say, wrapping an arm over her shoulder, desiring to sooth and comfort her.

She opens the door for us. There's a crunching sound, and both of us look down to find the metal doorknob, crumpled beyond repair, in her hand. I refrain from laughing when I notice the distressed look on her face. "It's just a doorknob, love."

She sighs again. "Yeah. I just feel different. It's going to take some time getting used to...this."

No guilt. None. There will be an adjustment period; time is going to be necessary, but we're going to do this. She's going to do this with me by her side, every step of the way.

"I'm here, love," I say, kissing the side of her head. "You aren't alone."

I feel her press her lips against the side of my throat. "You aren't either," she says.

I grin into her hair. No. No, I'm not alone anymore.


	12. Chapter 12

_Epilogue_

_Christmas Day_

"He's going to be here soon," Jasper soothes, watching me pace in front of the couch. "Are you sure it was wise to invite your father for Christmas?"

He's asked me this several times. He's worried I'm going to lose control and end up hurting Charlie, but I feel confident that won't happen. My control is almost unbelievable, according to Jasper, and I love my dad. I can't see myself draining him. I can hardly even think about it.

"The talks on the phone aren't cutting it anymore," I say.

I called Charlie the day after I woke up as the new me. I couldn't stand the thought of him mourning me when I was alive and happy. So I dialed his number, I waited for him to pick up, and when he did, I told him I was fine, but that I needed some time to myself.

I had to lie and tell him the reason I left was because of Edward. I knew he would believe that because he understood how unstable I was around Edward, so _not_ having Edward would obviously cause my instability worse.

He threatened to ground me for a lifetime if I didn't tell him where I was. I laughed and I told him I was almost 18, and my grounding days where over. I asked him to try and understand. Then I hung up.

But I called again the next day. I heard how relieved he was to hear my voice. I think he almost cried.

I called every day after that.

I was waiting. My eyes had to turn gold, and I had to make sure my need for blood wouldn't overpower my love for him. Christmas Day seemed the perfect time to see him again, so I invited him to the Cullen's house. He accepted without question, probably too scared to ask anything lest I rescind the offer.

I feel bad for everything I've put him through. I wish some things had gone down differently, but it's too late now. I can only work on fixing the future. And that's why he's going to be arriving at our front door any minute.

"I'm sure you know best, love," Jasper replies, leaning back into the cushions. He pats the space beside him, encouraging me to sit with him.

"I'm sure I don't, but I need to see him."

He places a hand on my knee when I sit down. "It's going to be fine. You've got me here to make sure nothing happens."

Leaning my head on his shoulder, I smile into the collar of his button down shirt. "Have I told you how happy I am that I have you?"

His hand travels slowly up my leg. His body turns more towards my own. "You have, but I wouldn't mind hearing it again," he murmurs.

I hear a car coming then. It's going about 40 miles per hour.

Charlie.

I'm at the door in a flash, pulling the door open like the house is on fire. I see the police cruiser getting closer with every second that passes. "Dad," I breathe.

Jasper takes his time getting up. He kisses the side of my head when he reaches my side. "Remember to breathe and move periodically."

"I won't forget."

"He's happy to see you."

Looking back outside, I observe Charlie parking the car. I watch him step out into the light mist. Our eyes connect, and he smiles. He jogs up the pathway, hugging me to him as soon he steps up onto the porch.

"Oh, Bells," he sighs. "I'm so glad you're okay."

It's much easier being this close to him than I thought it would be. He smells good, yes, but I don't have an uncontrollable urge to bite into him.

I look over and smile reassuringly at Jasper. He grins back, moving away to give us some space. "I'm just fine, dad," I say happily.

Pulling back, he searches my person. "You're different," he comments.

"Am I? I hadn't noticed." I laugh nervously. "I feel the same."

He gazes into my eyes for what feels like forever, but then he gives an almost imperceptible shake of his head. Seeming to think it wise to change the subject, he says, "You're presents are still in the car."

Jasper jumps into action, stepping up to make his presence known. "I can get those for you, Sheriff Swan."

Charlie stares at Jasper, a slightly disapproving look in his eyes. Clearing his throat, he looks between us. He sighs, and extends his hand for Jasper to shake. "Call me Charlie."

"Charlie, I know you probably have a lot of questions," Jasper says. "Just know I love your daughter, and I plan on taking care of her for the rest of our lives."

Seeming to consider that, Charlie's probing gaze stays focused on Jasper. "If Bella's happy, then I'll learn to accept your presence in her life."

Chuckling, Jasper says, "That's good enough for me."

I can tell Jasper's charm and openness impress Charlie. I had hoped for everything to go this smoothly, but I hadn't expected it to actually happen. After Edward, I thought he'd flip upon finding out I was with his brother.

It's hard to dislike Jasper though. He exudes calm. His personality is magnetic, drawing everyone in, making everyone near him want to be around him. It comes in handy in times like these.

Shaking Jasper's hand, Charlie nods his head towards the car. "I'll take you up on your offer to help with those presents. I've got a lot of them."

"Lead the way," Jasper says, looking back at me, grinning.

It's all working out. I'm so happy it's working out.

* * *

_Later that day_

"They're coming!" I practically squeal.

Charlie had left the hour before, and I've been waiting for my other family impatiently.

Both Jasper and I run out into the yard, awaiting their approach. Two cars come trailing up the driveway. Esme, Edward, Carlisle, and Alice in the black SUV; Rosalie and Emmett in the humongous dark green jeep.

All of them zip out out of their cars. Emmett makes it to me first, his gigantic arms coming to wrap around my waist. Picking me up from the ground, he swings me back and forth like a rag doll. "I missed you," he tells me, his smile wide on his exuberant face.

"I missed you too," I say, squirming to get down, but laughing at his antics.

"Bella," Rosalie greets, less coldly than I thought she would.

"Hi, Rosalie," I say.

Alice dances to my side. She tangles a dainty arm around my waist, giving me a one-armed hug. "You're looking lovely," she says, checking my outfit over for any flaws.

I put on a blue dress just for her. Well, Jasper asked that I put on a blue dress for her. She's been so supportive, it's the least I could do. "Thanks, Alice."

Carlisle and Esme walk up to Jasper first, both looking happy to see him again. "It's so good to see you, Jasper," Esme says softly.

"I'm glad you guys came," Jasper tells them.

"Of course we did," Carlisle murmurs. Looking to me, he gives me a gentle smile. "I've heard you are practically a natural born vampire," he says.

I laugh awkwardly. "It feels natural, yes," I reply, moving to hug him.

I'm so happy to see them. I've missed them. They're my family, and I need them in my life just like I need Charlie and Jasper.

"You look happy," Esme comments knowingly, her soft eyes traveling between Jasper and I. Her kind face and calm exterior puts me at ease. Some part of me had worried they wouldn't approve of mine and Jasper's relationship.

"We are," Jasper says, grabbing hold of my hand.

I see Edward then. He's standing a couple of feet behind Rosalie, quietly watching the reunion. His gaze finds mine, and he nods his head at me. There's a small smile on his face, but his eyes are weighed down by sadness.

"Edward," Alice's voice rings out. "Would you carry in the presents?"

He does so at once. Emmett goes to help, and the rest of us make our way into the house.

Esme gasps, her hands covering her cheeks in astonishment. "Bella," she whispers.

The living room has been taken over by everything Christmas. A huge tree sits in the corner, its branches covered with lights and ornaments and garland. A nativity set decorates the coffee table. A wreath hangs over the fireplace. Lights have been strung across the room. Jasper and I went all out, wanting it to be perfect.

"This is beautiful," she tells me. "Better than I could have done."

I laugh at that, the sound happy and bright. "I doubt that, but thank you. I'm glad you like it."

"Looks like Alice went overboard this year like always," Jasper teases while he tries to make room for all of the presents under the tree.

"It's Christmas," Alice retorts, sticking her tongue out at him.

"Yeah, it wouldn't be Christmas if Alice didn't buy out all the stores," Emmett chimes in, lugging 3 large boxes inside.

"You guys will be thanking me when you see all of the things I bought you," she says, her voice all prim and proper.

I go into the kitchen when Alice mentions needing a vase for some flowers she brought. I feel as well as hear Edward following me.

"I just want you to know that I'm happy for you," he says when it's just us. "I don't want you to feel guilty about anything."

I plant my hands on the counter, and look out the window over the sink, blindly. "I'm glad. I don't want there to be any awkwardness between us."

He chuckles humorlessly. "Well, it might take some time, but we'll get there. "You've made Jasper happy, and I can see on your face that you are as well. Happy, I mean."

Turning around, I fiddle with the sash on my dress. "I really am. Are you happy, Edward?"

He looks down at the floor. "I'm getting there," he says quietly.

Dragging as much air into my frozen lungs as I can, I muster up an almost sincere smile. "Good."

"We better get back in there," he says.

I go back into the living room, feeling a little off, but when I see my family laughing and mock fighting, I know everything is going to be fine.

I smile as I listen to Emmett tease Rosalie about all of the clothes she brought with her. I feel a funny sensation in my stomach as I watch Carlisle and Esme communicate across the room with their eyes. I laugh as I listen to Alice rant to Jasper on how humans can be vicious when it comes to Christmas shopping.

Edward walks around me and goes to sit beside Rosalie, joining in on the friendly teasing. His eyes are less sad now, his expression less haunted.

 _My family_ , I think. We're going to be fine. And the best part is - we have an eternity to get there.


	13. Chapter 13

_Epilogue Part II_

**Bella's POV**

This wasn't how I planned to confront Jacob. I was thinking more on the lines of a phone call. Something simple, something easy. Jacob obviously doesn't want simple or easy. He's refused to take any of my calls, and I know he's getting them. For whatever reason, he's ignoring me.

Jasper told me about the wolves, the Treaty, all of it. At first I was shocked, but I saw Jacob shift with my own eyes. I saw his fangs and his razor-sharp claws.

Jasper's theory is that Jacob shifted into a wolf because he smelled what Jasper was, subconsciously. I don't care why he shifted. All I want is to work things out with my friend.

So I'm tracking him through the woods. He's not alone; there are two more with him. Running as fast as I can, I jump off a boulder, and land on the bottom of the hill. I can see them up ahead, running like the wind. I leap across the river, going far enough to fly over the pack, and stopping them in their tracks.

The one with gray fur snarls at me. Jacob watches me, his dark, gold eyes conflicted. The other wolf growls, and moves as if to attack.

"Jake, please."

The angry wolf leaps at me, snapping viciously. Not wanting to fight back, I get out of the way at the last minute.

"I'm not your enemy, Jake," I try again. "I don't want to fight."

This time I don't move when the dark gray wolf comes at me. I stare at Jake, hoping he'll decide to intervene. It's when I feel the wolf's hot breath on my face that he's pushed to the ground by Jake.

The pinned down animal growls, then whimpers when Jake doesn't budge. The one with the spots on his back spins around, making a quick dash towards the Reservation. The other follows when Jake removes his gigantic paw from his neck.

Looking back at me, Jake shifts without warning.

If I was still human, I would be blushing like never before. Any girl would though if Jacob Black stood before them stark naked. Naked and very muscular, I observe distantly. If he didn't smell so horrible, and I didn't have Jasper, I would definitely be ogling him. But he does smell bad, and I do have Jasper, so I roll my eyes and turn around while he puts his pants on.

"You shouldn't have followed us," he says, breaking the silence.

"You wouldn't answer any of my calls. What was I supposed to do?"

"You were supposed to let it go, Bella."

Frustrated, I swivel around, relieved to find he's wearing cut-offs. "We need to talk."

"There's nothing to talk about. You're one of them now," he spits out.

"It only matters if you let it," I retort angrily. "We can still be friends."

"No, we can't."

He starts to walk away. I flash in front of him. "Jake, don't do this."

Shoulders slumping, he drags a hand down his face. "No, I can't look at you, Bella. I hate myself more than you can imagine."

Understanding dawns. "I don't blame you for what happened," I tell him. "It was my fault, not yours."

"If I had calmed down..."

Without thinking, I close the distance separating us. I wrap my arms around his waist, hugging him carefully so as not to hurt him. "Stop. I don't regret what I am. I'm with Jasper, and I've reconnected with Charlie. My life is good right now. All that's missing is you, Jake, so please, let go of your misplaced guilt."

Untangling himself, he asks, "Does Jasper know you're here?"

A twinge of my own guilt flares to life. "No, I told him I was visiting Charlie."

"So you're lying to the bloodsucker, huh? He must be as controlling as Eddie," he mutters.

"I didn't want him to worry," I reply calmly. "I'll tell him later."

His eyes darken, his nostrils flair. "You want something that isn't possible. I can't be around him. I don't _want_ to be around him."

"It isn't like I'm asking you to become besties with him, Jake. All I want is for us to talk sometimes, maybe even occasionally hang out. Is that really too much to ask?"

"You're with him," he growls. "You two are a package deal. I'm not stupid. I know he isn't going to let you spend time with me alone. Not after what happened."

Glaring, I shove my finger into his hard chest. "No one, not even Jasper, gets to tell me what to do. If I want to hang out with you, I will, but if that's not something you want, then fine. I'm not going to beg for your friendship anymore."

With a stifled huff, I turn to leave.

"Okay," Jacob blurts.

Still a little peeved, I refuse to face him. "Okay, what?"

"Okay, we can try being friends."

I glance at him. "Do you mean it?"

"Yeah, but I don't want all of your bloodsucker friends coming around thinking we're bosom buddies or something," he says, his voice gruff.

I shake my head, letting the laugh bubble out of me. "I don't think that's going to happen anytime soon."

Smirking, he shoves his hands in his pockets. "Good."

"Thanks for not letting your wolf friend tear me into little pieces," I say offhandedly.

Eyebrows raised, he says, "Yeah, Paul gets a little carried away sometimes. Actually, I better get going. The pack probably has a lot of questions."

"Call me later," I tell him sternly.

With a smile he shifts back into a russet-colered wolf. I watch him disappear into the trees, and then I head in the opposite direction. Halfway from home, I catch Jasper's scent. The guilt returns, but I keep running towards him. When we're close enough to make eye contact, I cringe apologetically.

"So I didn't go to Charlie's," I confess.

"I figured that out when I went to Charlie's and you weren't there."

Flinching, I turn my gaze to the wet ground. "I'm sorry I lied. I went-"

"To see Jacob," he finishes. He grins at my surprised expression. "I wasn't born yesterday, Bella. I know you've been trying to get in touch with him."

"You didn't say anything," I murmur.

"I thought I'd wait for you to tell me."

"Well, now I feel like crap."

Chuckling, he flashes in front of me, pulling me to him like he usually does when he doesn't want us to be separated from each other physically. "Don't," he whispers, his voice as smooth as silk. "Next time I would like for you to be honest with me, but I'm not angry with you."

Confused, my brows furrow. "Why not?"

"I don't know," he says thoughtfully. "I was, I admit, but now I'm just relieved you're okay."

"I won't lie to you again," I promise, appropriately chagrined. I don't even need him to be angry and yell. I feel bad enough without needing the extra incentive.

He kisses my forehead, smiling down at me sweetly. "I'm glad. Now let's go home."

 _Home_ , I think. Yes, I'm ready to go home.


End file.
